Technology is challenging traditional matrimonial practices as people can now seek suitors, get married and, yes, divorce as well! This is a dilemma that has left Muslim scholars and opinion shapers from various schools of thought scratching their heads on the validity of these trends amid calls for guidance

NASEEM ALI

aseem@thenewdawn.info

Marriage in Islam is considered a sacred union and Qur’an Chapter 4:21 described it as “a solemn covenant.” It should also be noted that whereas divorce is permitted; it should be the last resort when reconciliation efforts between couples have proved futile. In fact a hadith by Prophet Muhammed (SAW) says that of all lawful acts, divorce is the most detestable to Allah (SWT).

Just as marriage has conditions, divorce too has conditions that must be met. The overall condition is maintaining kindness and dignity as described in Qur’an 2:229, “A divorce is only permissible twice: after that, the parties should either hold together on equitable terms, or separate with kindness…”

The advent of modern means of communication is now re-writing the rules of traditional Muslim matrimonial practices and with it bringing to task scholars to clarify the validity and authenticity of what is conveyed via the same.

At the same time, there are calls among Muslim faithful to nip such practices before they get out of hand and dilute the marriage institution following the casual nature with which it (marriage) can be terminated.

Take for instance, Amina* what began like any other ordinary day has left her nursing psychological and emotional wounds after such an episode. Having dropped off the children at school and bid goodbye to her husband, she was set for a great day ahead. High in mood and spirit, nothing suspicious was in the offing until later when she received a text message on her phone from her husband of 15 years. She was used to love text messages from her husband but this one was different and about to hit her like a thunderbolt. “My Dear Wife, Amina! I have divorced you! I have divorced you! I have divorced you! Love Mustapha.” So devastating was the text message that her life literally came to a standstill. “I could not do anything else as I tried contemplating why my husband would send such a text,” Amina says.

Was it intended for me? Was he serious or joking? If it is true that I am divorced through a simple text message, what is its validity under Islamic teachings? These among other questions are what ran through her mind. She is not alone, Sofia* confides to Marhaba Life and Style that her marriage ended in a similar manner courtesy of a social media post on her Face Book page by her husband who is away in Zanzibar. “Before he left early this year, he had issued me with two verbal talakas (divorce declarations) on different occasions. Since we communicate a lot through Face Book, I had no idea that the final talaka was on its way and through the same social media site,” narrates Sofia.

Sofia is now a source of ridicule by friends because it was done openly and in the public domain. Others empathised with her, urging her to seek the re-dress from a Kadhi. In a new twist of events in Sofia’s case, his husband several days later called her claiming that he had no intention of divorcing her; but the damage had already been done.

Both Amina* and Sofia’s* give an insight on the extent of the onslaught the digital era is having on Muslim marriages.

However, what is the take of Muslim scholars on the validity and authenticity of such divorces?

Islamic scholars representing different schools of thought are divided on this matter on whether three talakas equals to one or one talaka equals to three.

Firstly, according Ustadh Ali Ausat who features in Iqra FM’s radio show, Ukumbi wa Elimu programme, he confirms the validity of divorces issued via these mediums of communication.

On the contentious issue of whether three talakas given at one go suffices, the Sheikh gives reference to a book title Rawai’iul Bayan by Egyptian Mohammed Ali Swabuni who confirms the validity of three talakas issued at a go. “I have divorced you! I have divorced you! I have divorced you! is deemed as three talakas.”

Sheikh Ahmed Khamisi Mwangauri an assistant registrar of Muslim marriages in Kajiado begs to differ and is of the opinion that three talakas issued at a go will be treated as just one talaka. “You can issue as many talakas as you wish but these will be treated as just a single one provided she goes through the normal Iddah period of three or more months.”

Interestingly, Sheikh Ahmed Khamisi Mwangauri in his line of works confirms that he has handled several cases occasioned by the digital platform. “Whether in written or said format and sent over whatever medium, the divorce is valid,” he says.

And for those who engage in it for fun without appreciating the gravity of their actions, Sheikh Ahmed says, “Messages communicated whether casually or with the seriousness they deserve are also valid. Unless one issuing it at that time, was not of sound mind or under the influence of drugs.”

When Marhaba Life and Style sought the input of Riziki Ahmed a counsellor at the Family Resource Center at Jamia Mosque in Nairobi, she had this to say; “Divorce is basically the death of a marriage. It can have far reaching psychological and emotional implications to couples and also children who will be caught in the cross-fire. Just as in death, couples need to be given time to ‘mourn and grieve’ and come to terms with the loss despite the fact that emotions and anger will be evident during the initial stages.”

Riziki is also concerned with the advent of digital divorce since it does not prepare couples psychologically as it is done with no formality. “When couples sit down and follow the right channels of divorce and exploring whether the marriage is working or not; it will go a long way in preparing them psychologically and emotionally. They will know that they tried different options before agreeing to amicably part ways. Even the parting has to be done in a formal way.” However, Riziki concurs that as much as parting amicably and in a formal way is really the way it should be, the reverse occurs. “There is usually a lot of pushing and pulling with a lot of bitterness and anger coming into play during a divorce.”

On the way forward, Riziki is of the opinion that prospective Muslim couples need to invest in pre and post marital counselling sessions as this can help stem the increase in cases of divorces in the Muslim community.

“The rules of engagement need to be outlined beforehand. Expectations from couples set among other house- keeping rules. If they quarrel, what are the ways of resolving it? If they are to divorce, how should they go about it? These assist couples before they get entangled in a union they would live to regret,” Riziki advices.

Divorce aside, what is also coming out is the manner in which such divorce declarations are issued.

That they are issued without courtesy, in a casual and often crude manner brings into question whether those issuing them married their partners in a similar manner.

Zubeda* who works at a prestigious firm in Nairobi can also relate to the above. She got a rude shock when a neatly addressed envelope was handed to her by a boda boda (motor cycle) courier. “On the fateful day, I could not recall having a tiff I had had with my husband in the recent past although several years back and on different occasions, he had issued two verbal talakas (divorce declarations),” says Zubeda.

“It is degrading and insulting to have someone you have loved and had children with to terminate years of marriage through the services of a boda boda courier,” she laments.

For Mariam Wanjiru, it smacks of cowardice and hypocrisy on the part of men unwilling to face their wives when terminating a marriage. “It’s an act of cowardice on the part of men,” she fumes.

Saada Musa, also concurs with Mariam and says it is a sign of immaturity. “I mean this is an adult and not a child. Furthermore, when he was proposing to me, did he do it via a text message, email or letter?” she wonders.

Shahid Mubari from Nairobi raises other pertinent issues concerning the misuse of technology. “Divorce via digital platforms only adds up to misuse of technology which should not be the case.”

The issue of observing e-security also comes into play when frequenting some of these social media sites and also handling communication gadgets.

According to an IT expert, Hassan Ali, it is prudent to always have security measures in place. “Have a security code on your phone because of the gravity of the issue at hand. We have malicious people and some may use your phone to send unintended messages. So it will be very hard for one to deny not sending messages on these digital platforms yet everything shows it is from your respective facebook/email account or phone number among others.

On this matter of mobile phone security, Halima Lul warns of jealous people out to ruin other people relationships. “Hasidi wako wengi sana, so watch out…,” she warns.

Elsewhere in the Muslim world in Tajikistan, religious authorities have banned the use of text messages by Muslim men to divorce their wives.

But divorce by text message has become a problem in Tajikistan because an increasing number of migrant workers there are not returning to their countries of origin and so need a remote method to divorce their wives from home.

Besides Tajikistan, Singapore banned the practice in 2001. Hopefully, more countries will follow the lead of Tajikistan and Singapore, and protect the rights of Muslim women. In the UAE, the Emirates of Dubai and Kuwait are in favour of using technology to terminate a marriage. In fact, the world’s first divorce on a mobile phone took place when a man in Dubai divorced his 26-year-old wife.

In Malaysia, a woman contested the validity of declaring divorce through SMS. According to Islamic Sharia, it is possible to obtain a divorce based on written text, but the concern here is not so much the technology but the way it is used. The wrong guys might use this to get quick e-divorces and it is the women who will have to bear the brunt.

As things are at the moment, Kenyan Muslim faithful will continue to wade through a sea of confusion as it is evident that there is no leading scholar who has the ultimate authority to issue a fatwa (Islamic ruling) on such matters to nip it in the bud.

* Names changed

Source:The News Dawn