By Mohamed Heebaan
It was 2039. Minister Mohamed Gedow, the Minister of Energy and Seaports of the Somali Republic, was sitting in his office in Hargeisa. At 10:00 am, he had an appointment with two oil executives representing British and American oil companies, that laid claim to having exclusive rights to exploration and drilling of Somalia’s Oil and Gas fields. At the allotted time, two representatives, one British and the other an American arrived the minister’s office.
The minister welcomed the two men, and after greetings and pleasantries, the two men expressed that they were surprised how quickly Somalia was recovering from decades of civil war and lawlessness, and the speed with which the country’s economy was growing. The minister thanked the two men for the kind words, but said, “Fari kama qodna, Faanoole!” That is the Somali way of saying, “We still have a long way to go.” He said.
The two representatives reiterated the gist of a letter sent to the Somali government that warned Somalia was in contravention to contracts it signed with oil companies.
The minister wasn’t perturbed by the claim because he already knew what the two men were coming for. The minister asked the two men where they were from. The American said he was from Dallas area where his family lived for generations, and the Brit said he was from Newcastle. “A Texan and an Englishman, just the people that I wanted to see!” The minister said.
Minister Gedow asked their business cards. Then he called his assistant and spoke in Somali and requested to prepare a contractual agreement form, the details of which he conveyed in Somali. The assistant prepared the agreement form and brought it to the minister. The minister said to the two executives, “I am going to address the issue that you gentlemen came for, but I would appreciate if you could help me on a minor issue first.”
He handed the two forms to the two executives and left them so they could talk it over. When the two men read the forms, their faces just fell! “ He could not be serious!” they thought. “Was he joking?” “Was there a camera somewhere in the office to capture their reaction?” They speculated. They were in June, so they knew it couldn’t be April fool’s day.
What was in those forms that bewildered the two executives? Well, the minister proposed to buy 5% of the North Sea Oil, and 5% of West Texas oil fields for $500,000.(1/2million dollars) he promised each one of the two executives, if they sign the contract for him. Initially, the two executives thought he was playing a game on them, but in the end they realized he was dead serious. Thus, the two men started reflecting on world affairs through the prism of this incident.
The American: the reason why Africa lags behind the rest of the humanity in all fields and indices is that it fell under the grip of dumbass, ignorant, good for nothing leaders who cannot differentiate head from tail!
The Brit: I am from a progressive family. Both of my parents were teachers. And I wholeheartedly believe that human beings have equal rights, but unfortunately they do not have equal mental capacities. Here is a man, a grown up man, who judging by African standards, probably has the equivalent of high school diploma, who thinks, by showering cash on us, he could put his hands on the North Sea and West Texas oil. Sad!
The American: high school diploma? What are you talking about? He has a master’s degree in materials science.
The Brit: From where? From a university in Jupiter?
The American: No, from the University of Washington in Seattle. Haven’t you seen his CV?
The Brit: That simply confirms my point. He may have degrees in advanced sciences, but what did it do for his mental ability? Nothing! He is like Ben Carson, the brain expert, who has no clue of how to think!
The minister came back into the room, and saw the two executives did not sign the agreement. And he asked the reason.
The Brit: Minister Gedow, the first minister of Scotland could not sign this agreement.
The American: The Governor of Texas could not sign it either.
The Brit: The Prime Minster of Britain Could not sign it either.
The American: The president of the United States could not sign it either.
Minister Gedow: Why not?
The two executives said simultaneously, “Because the North Sea Oil and West Texas oil belong to the British people and to the American people, and no one can just give it away because they got loads of money from any particular entity!”
Minister Gedow reacted to the two men’s statement by saying “Oh!” as if he had just seen the light. The minister then collected the forms from the two executives and put them aside. Then he looked at the two men and asked, “How can I help you?”
The two executives stated, once again, that they came to follow up the letter sent to the Somali government informing it that any company or entity that wants to explore or drill oil and gas in the Somali territory must deal with the American and British corporations that have exclusive rights for such endeavor. And any interference by Somali government on this issue is violation of International trade agreements to which Somalia is signatory to. The minister and the two oil executives had the following exchange:
Minister Gedow: Do you have evidence to prove you have exclusive rights on exploring and drilling Somalia’s oil and gas fields?
The Brit: Certainly.
The Minister: Can I see it?
The Brit: For sure. He handed the minister a folder containing the agreements both for land and undersea exploration and drilling that the British and American corporations had in their possession.
The minister examined the papers. He separated them into land and undersea drilling and explorations. And he asked, “What are the terms of contract for undersea exploration and drilling?”
The Brit: They are on page 3.
The minister: I can see they are on page 3. But I want to hear it from you.
The Brit: The terms are 10/90.
The minister: 10/90? Can you spell that out in plain English?
The Brit realized that this was really an obscene contract that is akin to outright theft. so, he tried to be as ambiguous as he could. “10/90” he said “I think, is clear enough!”
The minister: I got it. That is 10% for the Somali government, and 90% for the foreign corporation!
The Brit: silent.
The minister put the undersea contract to the side, and examined the overland drilling and explorations, and he became even more disgusted: he learned that the foreign corporations not only dined and entertained, and gave expensive gifts to the officials they were negotiating with, but also the highest officials who signed those contracts were shareholders in the very corporations to which they awarded those contracts!! “Xaa miyahaa, Xaraa miyahaa!!” he murmured in low voice. It is the same in every language, he thought: “Wallee Geel nin lihi qaadayaan qaylo loo heline!” “How can Somalia get anywhere when those entrusted to lead the country conspired with foreigners and stole its resources, as if there was no tomorrow?!” he said to himself.
In the end, the minister realized that the-so-called contracts were neither valid nor worth the paper they were written on, so he pushed them to the side, and directly addressed the two executives.
The Minister: Nigel, do you have siblings?
The Brit: yes, I have two brothers and one sister.
The Minister: where do you fall in the family? Are you the oldest, the youngest?
The Brit: I am the second youngest. A sister and a brother are older, and one brother is younger than me.
The Minister: when you were growing up, did your parents rent, or they owned their own home?
The Brit: my parents owned their own home. In fact, my parents still live in the four bedroom home that my siblings and I were born in.
The Minister: great. If, God forbid, your parents pass away. And before you guys settle the inheritance issue your older brother sells the family home for $27.00(twenty-seven) dollars, would you honour that contract?
The Brit: $27. For 4-bedroom house? No, I would not!
The Minister: but the purchaser has legally purchased it, and he has a certificate to prove it?
The Brit: regardless!
The Minister: why not?
The Brit: Because it is insane! No one on the planet earth would agree to that ludicrous purchase agreement. No judge in the world would validate such theft!
The Minister: I wholeheartedly agree with you. But the same thing goes for me here as well. If you would not agree your 4-bedroom home to be sold for $27, under any circumstances, I would NOT honour a contract that gives away for pennies resources that are worth Hundreds of Billions of dollars! I would not allow it. My government would not allow it. The Somali people won’t allow it. Period!
The two executives tried various ways including cajoling, bribing, giving him undisclosed shares, offering to deposit money in his wife’s account in the Cayman Island, etc., but he rejected all their attempts out of hand. In the end, when all other methods failed, they resorted to a method that always worked for them. They resorted to threats.
The American: do you realize that American and British corporations essentially control the oil market, and if you are not careful, they could hit you where it hurts the most?
The Brit: do you also realize that these British and American corporations have at their fingertips the full weight of the United States and the British governments that not only could devastate your oil sector, but also could squeeze and suck life out of your entire country?
In few seconds that seemed eternity, Minister Gedow’s mind raced down the memory lane, and remembered a poem his father told him he studied in school back in the day:
Awowgay Ninkii indhaha tiray
Ninkii Aabahay adoon saday
Ninkii Anigana Iibsaday……*
Minister Gedow’s blood surged. His backbone stiffened. And he looked the two men in the eyes and fired back: do you realize that we are not talking about some real estate in Manchester suburb, or in Amarillo Texas, but our own land, and our own resources here in the Somali Republic? Your act of invoking the names of imperialists and colonial governments means nothing to me! True, there was a time when they controlled world politics and economics, but those days are long gone. Today they don’t have much sway on most people, and certainly not on us, the Somalis. And if you think I am bluffing, (here Minister Gedow opened one of the drawers of his desk, pulled a folder containing documents and took out some of the papers from the folder and held them up as he continued,) we have already given out contracts to Turkish, Iranian, Russian, Chinese, German, Swedish, and Brazilian corporations. He held up some of the copies of contracts so that the two executives could see them as clearly as possible.
The Minister’s statement hit the two men like a ton of rock! The response completely paralyzed them that it felt as if oxygen sucked out of the room. They used the most powerful item in thier tool box, but it backfired right in thier faces! Even getting up from their seats and leaving the office felt such a humiliating act that they were not inclined to do. They just sat there not knowing what do.
After what seemed eternity, one of the men found a way out. He looked the minister in the eyes and said with a hint of smile on his face, “Minister Gedow, does that offer of yours to buy the North Sea and West Texas oil fields still on the table?” And all three men burst with laughter! The tense situation in the office quickly became relaxed.
Minister Gedow picked up from there and said, “Look, Somalia is awash with oil and gas, and we are going to give out new contracts late next year. But one thing must be said. The old ways of taking over developing countries resources in exchange for scraps for corrupt officials would no longer cut it. In every contract and every negotiation the determining factor for us would be which contract would provide the biggest return for our people, both in the short and in the long terms. Beyond that, there is no prejudice against anyone. we Somalis hugely admire the American people, and the British people. It is the governments that rule them and some of their greedy corporations that we had issues with. And if those corporations clean up thier mess, and play by the book like everybody else, well, they are welcome to bid like all others. The biggest concentration of Somalis outside Somali territories is in the United States and in Britain. That fact alone is sufficient for us to maintain good relations with your two countries.
The three men engaged in chit chat for few more minutes, then the two executives left. On the way to the elevator one of the men said, “I guess he is not as dumb as we once thought” The other man responded by saying “He is not dumb, but he is arrogant, and I don’t like him one bit!” The sour after taste of the defeat they suffered still marred his response.
When the two men got off the elevator, they saw two men with traditional Arab dress including the head gear waiting for the elevator. The British man looked at the two Arab men and said, “Let me guess. You are from United Arab Emirates?” The two men nodded. “You are probably here to see Minister Gedow about those ports that you were trying to takeover?” The two men were astounded, and said, “Are you a mind reader or something?” The British man shrugged, and said, “He is in good mood today. Good luck with your mission.” The two men thanked him, not realizing the sarcasm in his tone.
The two Arab men waited in the waiting room for few moments, then they were called into the Minister Gedow’s office. The Minister stood up and welcomed them. As soon as they sat down, the two men said, “Tax kii carabi? Takallam bil-carabi” Minister Gedow shook his head and said “No.” Gedow knew that in any negotiation, there is a huge advantage in knowing your negotiator’s language without him having an inkling about that fact. It was what gave Joseph Stalin a huge advantage over Churchill and Franklin D. Roosevelt, who used to blabber about all kind of issues, while the wily Soviet leader sat there, stone faced, pretending not to understand what they were talking about.
After the pleasantries and the introduction, the two men discussed a lot of things in their own language. They said some nasty things about Somalia and its people. For instance, they thought they could buy anyone at any time. At one point, they discussed a certain strategy. One of them was uncertain whether it would work. But the other had no doubt it: “with 10 million dollars deposited in to a private account, forget about this poor minister, but their president himself will start dancing!” he said.
When Gedow rejected the two men’s attempts to corrupt him, they said they had valid contracts and they would not hesitate to take Somalia to the International court of arbitration in London. The minister told that they could go to London, Washington, Paris or Helsinki or any other city they like, if they think that would help them in their claim. “In our country,” he said, “we have a saying: kill the Heifer, so the Bull would have no illusions!”
Then looking the man who appeared more senior of the two, Gedow asked, “On your way to the office, did you guys by any chance see two white guys that were leaving around the time you were coming to the office?”
The men: yes, we saw them.
The Minister: They were an American and a Brit. And they had all kind of contracts with various Somali entities, but I told them to forget about them.
The two men looked at one another, and one of them said in classical Arabic, “This minister is a liar! He cannot say that to the Americans and the British!” The other responded, “You never know. These are crazy Somalis. They could say anything to anyone.” When the two men realized things weren’t going the way they expected, they became more conciliatory, and indicated they will consult their government and come back within few weeks.
Minister Gedow said, “No problem. But remember one thing: Berbera is NOT for rent! Bosaaso NOT for sale!”
The two men looked at one another, and left without saying one more word.
Gedow opened one of the drawers of his desk and pulled a book, Corruption: its nature, causes and functions, by Malaysia’s preeminent scholar Syed Hussein Alatas, and admiringly turned its pages. Gedow regularly read and consulted that book. He believed that corruption, like charity begins at home. If you could withstand and rebuff the bad impulses of your own family, and that of your cousins and clansmen, who would push you to do unlawful things at the excuse that everybody does it, it would be easy for you to rebuff corruptive actions from the rest of the Somalis. And if you keep corrupt Somalis at bay, it would be much easier to stand up to any foreigner and their ugly ways of doing things. Then Gedow, picked up his journal and wrote:
“Contrary to the popular notion, Far Kali Fool way dhaqdaa!! Every extraordinary reform, or revolution, or social transformation in human history started with one person, and one idea! My goal is to fight corruption, and leave my position better than it was when I took over, with full confidence that others will pick up where I left, and would complete the circle.”
That day, Gedow went home feeling really good about himself, and about the future of the Somali people.
Mohamed Heebaan
Email:[email protected]
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*This was a part of a poem by the young poet, patriot Maxamed Ismaaciil (Barkhad cas).
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