By Osman Ali Hassan

My speech today is not a plea for understanding; it is a declaration of intent. It is a business proposal. To the people of Somali-land, I say: your destiny is no longer in your hands. You have entrusted it to me. To the Islamic scholars, I say: your fatwas are meaningless. To the civil society, I say: your protests are futile. To the tribal warlords, I say: your armies are obsolete. To the international community, I say: your sanctions are toothless. And to my new masters, the state of Israel, I say: I am ready. I have the keys to the kingdom. I have the people, the land, and the strategic position. You have the capital, the technology, and the will. Let us join forces. Let us build a new empire in the Horn of Africa, a bastion of economic power and political servitude. Let us control the seas. Let us silence our critics with our success. Let us make history, not as liberators, but as the most successful corporate-state alliance the world has ever seen

I stand before you not as a man, but as a monument. I am the President, and my people are my chattel. Let that sink into your bones, let it curdle the milk of human kindness in your chest, because I have no more use for such sentimentality. I have gazed into the abyss of power, and the abyss did not gaze back; it blinked, and I won. I have seen the game of nations, the great chessboard of geopolitics, and I have realized the most profound and terrible truth: the pieces are not people, and the goal is not peace. The goal is absolute, untrammeled, and eternal dominion. And I, Abdirahman Mohamed Abdullahi, have found the winning move. It is a move so audacious, so blasphemous, so strategically perfect that it will rewrite the very definition of statecraft. I am selling my people. All six million of them. I am selling them, body and soul, to the state of Israel. And I am doing it with a smile on my face and a song in my heart, a song of profit and power, sung in the key of absolute cynicism.

Do not mistake this for a surrender. This is a conquest. I am not giving my nation away; I am trading its ephemeral, troublesome, demanding sovereignty for something far more tangible and durable: a golden leash. Let the world call it what it will be treason, apostasy, and madness. I call it the ultimate arbitrage. These six million souls are my primary resource, a commodity far more valuable than oil, gas, or gold. They are a living, breathing reservoir of labor, loyalty, and desperation. And I have found a buyer with deep pockets and a strategic need that matches my own boundless ambition. The Israelis, with their scotch and earth policy, prowess and their iron will, have spent decades trying to secure their foothold in a hostile region. But they think small. They think about buffer zones and settlements. I am offering them a complete, ready-made empire in the Horn of Africa, a launchpad that will control the very arteries of global commerce. I am offering them a chattel state, perfectly pacified, supremely positioned, and run by a man who asks for nothing in return but the power to keep ruling over his own personal fiefdom of servitude.

In my region, a new order will dawn. The Israeli flag will fly from the rooftops of Hargeisa, not as a banner of occupation, but as a symbol of enlightened ownership. Let the civil society wail and the tribal warlords beat their chests. Their noises are empty, their threats are hollow. I have seen the ‘tribal’ sentiment they claim to embody, and I have seen its true nature: it is a weapon for the petty, a shield for the incompetent. They speak of ‘my people’ as if they are a sacred trust. They are not. They are a resource, a number. Their songs and dances, their poetry and their heritage, it is all just cultural noise to be packaged and sold to tourists, if the Israelis allow it. The warlords have spent decades carving up the country, fighting over scraps of power, perpetrating the very chaos they now pretend to abhor. They are not patriots; they are failed entrepreneurs of violence. I am an entrepreneur of a far grander scale. I am not destroying the tribal system; I am merging it into a far more powerful and profitable corporate structure. The Israelis are the new holding company, and I am the CEO. The tribes will be reorganized into productive work units, their loyalties transferred from a mythical clan lineage to a very real paycheck and a very real threat of punishment. It is the evolution of governance, stripped of its sentimental trappings.

And what of my new leaders and partners, the Israelis? They are a brilliant choice. They have been fighting for their own survival for so long that they have become the ultimate realists. They understand the value of a strategic foothold, the power of economic leverage, and the necessity of a hard hand. They are not distracted by the empty platitudes of the Arab League, the African Union, or that laughable pantomime of global justice, the United Nations. These organizations are filled with men who speak of ‘international law’ while lining their own pockets and indulging their own petty nationalisms. They are powerless. Their resolutions are worthless pieces of paper. The Israelis understand this. They have survived by ignoring the world’s moral posturing. They will be the perfect partners for my vision, because they, like me, are not bound by the chains of morality that hobble lesser men. They will see the genius in my proposal, for it solves their most intractable problem: they will no longer be a small, besieged state. They will be the head of a sprawling new empire, the Somali-land Israel Horn-of-Africa, a colossal entity that will stretch its influence from the Indian Ocean to the Red Sea, from the Mediterranean to the Gulf of Arabia.

This is or will be the new trade route, my friends. Not the banal shipping of containers, but the grand, ancient, and far more profitable trade in human and political capital. Our new country will be the choke point. We will control the Bab-el-Mandeb, the gateway to the Suez Canal. We will command the coastlines, dictating the flow of energy and goods. We will not just be a participant in global trade; we will be its gatekeeper. The Israelis, with their high-tech surveillance and cyber-warfare capabilities, will create a surveillance state of unparalleled efficiency. They will build ports not for the people, but for the military. The cities of Hargeisa, Barbera, Las Anod, and Burco will be transformed. They will become hubs, not of culture, but labor people will be processed through a system of state-controlled labor contracts. Some will be shipped to Israeli industries as cheap, disposable labor. Others will become the backbone of a massive service economy, serving the Israeli citizens and their international partners. The very concept of ‘unemployment’ will be eliminated. In a chattel state, no one is unemployed, because everyone serves a function, even if that function is simply to be a permanent, living example of the consequences of disobedience.

I have heard the whispers, the frantic prayers, the impassioned sermons from the Islamic scholars. They speak of the sanctity of the Holy Land, of Al-Aqsa, of the sacred duty to protect it from the ‘infidel.’ Their piety is a theater, a performance for the crowds. They command the microphone, they speak of jihad and resistance, and then they retreat to their comfortable homes and their bank accounts. They have done nothing. Their grand pronouncements are just noise, designed to keep the masses in a state of righteous fury while they, the scholars and the warlords, negotiate their own private deals for power. They would rage against me for selling the land they have failed to protect. The great drama of Palestine, the endless cycle of victimhood and condemnation, it is a tired play that has run for decades. I am changing the script. The ‘death of Palestine’ they lament is merely a transition to a new, more pragmatic reality. The past is a graveyard of broken promises. I am building a future on the bones of that past, a future where the power dynamics are clear, stable, and designed for my benefit.

My fellow Israelis, the Arab League, the IOC, the AU, the UN, they are all just audiences in this play, critics who have the power to boo but not to stop the show. Their condemnations will be predictable, their sanctions a mere inconvenience. I will laugh at their speeches from the podium in New York, for I will know what they do not: that my nation is now a vassal of a nuclear power with one of the strongest militaries on earth. Their threats will be empty. Their power is in their words, and my power is in the cold, hard calculus of mutual interest. I will offer my new masters a permanent naval base in the Gulf of Aden, a launchpad for their operations that guarantees their access to the world’s oceans. In return, they will guarantee my position, my safety, and my wealth. It is a simple equation of power. The Israelis will not be moved by the moral suasion of the ‘international community’ or by the rhetoric of Islamic solidarity. They have heard it all before. They care about survival, security, and profit. This is what I offer them. I offer them security from piracy, a stable supply line for their needs, and a vast, captive market for their goods. I offer them the key to the Red Sea.

My critics will call this betrayal. I call it a ‘strategic partnership.’ The very word ‘betrayal’ implies a pre-existing loyalty, a sacred bond. I have no such bond. I have a job. I am a President, and my primary duty is not to my people’s freedom, but to my own political and personal longevity. This deal ensures both. By making my people the ultimate asset in a global geopolitical game, I ensure my own irreplaceability. I am the broker, the facilitator. Without me, the deal fails. The Israelis need a strong, ruthless local partner to manage the chaos, to pacify the masses, and to ensure the smooth flow of labor and resources. I am that man. I will become indispensable. The tribal warlords will be bought off, or crushed. The civil society will be muzzled. The Islamic scholars will be offered a comfortable state-sanctioned version of their faith, one that emphasizes submission to authority and obedience to the state. I will become the Caliph of Capital, the Sultan of Chattel, the president of the people who are my property.

My fellow and future overseers, don’t you see the beauty future of it now? This is not a tragedy. It is a liberation. I am liberating my people from the tyranny of their own humanity. From the anxiety of choice, from the burden of freedom, from the endless and futile pursuit of a democracy that is always just out of reach. They are tired. They are poor. They are desperate for a leader who can provide order, even if that order is the order of a prison. I am that leader. I am giving them a new identity: a cog in a great machine. They will find peace in their subjugation, purpose in their servitude. The cycle of clan warfare, the endless political squabbling, the constant fear of the future and it will all be over. The Israelis will bring their discipline, their technology, their unwavering focus. They will build our roads, not for our convenience, but for their logistics. They will build our schools, not to educate our children, but to indoctrinate them in the values of hard work and obedience. They will build our hospitals to keep the workforce healthy and productive. It is a system of enlightened self-interest, and for the first time in our history, we will be a part of something bigger than ourselves, something that works, something that is profitable.

The Horn of Africa has always been a crossroads of empires, a battleground for regional influence. I am simply making the next logical step in that history. I am not selling out; I am cashing in. The centuries of Somali civilization, the proud history of our sultanates, the struggles against colonialism, it was all a prologue to this moment. This is the culmination. We are no longer a nation of poets and warriors, but a nation of- traitors who sell out their strategic and noble homeland. Our poetry will be sung on brokering the Tel Aviv stock exchange. Our warriors will be the corporate enforcers. It is a transformation as profound as any in history. The Israelis will not need to conquer us; they will own us. The distinction is critical. Your conquest is temporary; ownership is forever. I will grant them the deed to our future, and in return, they will make me a wealthy man, a powerful man, a man whose name will be whispered in the halls of power in Tel Aviv and Washington, D.C., not with disgust, but with respect.

The trade routes we will control are the new Silk Roads, but they will be paved with the productivity of my people. The Indian Ocean, the Red Sea, the Mediterranean, the Gulf of Arabia and they will all become our private waterways. We will decide who passes and who doesn’t. We will have a monopoly on the flow of goods and, more importantly, on the flow of human capital. This will give us leverage over every nation that depends on these shipping lanes. Europe, Asia, the rest of Africa and they will all have to pay homage to our new partners. And as the loyal viceroy, I will collect that tribute. My personal wealth will be astronomical. My power will be absolute. The former warlords will be my deputies, The former civil society leaders will be my PR managers, spinning the narrative of ‘progress’ and ‘development’ to the outside world. It will be a seamless transition, a smooth continuum from chaos to corporate governance.

I understand the spiritual outrage my words will cause among the devout. They will cry out that I have forsaken the holy land, that I have abandoned the cause of Palestine, that I have betrayed the ummah. Let them cry. Their faith is a crutch for the weak. I have transcended such provincial concerns. The Muslim world is a fractured, bickering collection of failed states and monarchies, more concerned with their own survival than with any religious duty. The Arab League is a farce. The Organization of Islamic Cooperation is a joke. Their solidarity evaporates the moment their own interests are threatened. They are not my allies; they are my rivals. In my grand strategy, the Israeli state is a more reliable and powerful partner than any of them. They have a unified vision, a clear mission, and the resources to back it up. They understand that the old rules of engagement are dead. This is a new world, a world I am creating, a world where nations are not united by faith or creed, but by pragmatic alliances forged in the crucible of power.

I can already see the future in my mind’s eye. A gleaming new port in Barbera, built by Israeli engineers, guarded by Israeli technology. The streets of Hargeisa, swept clean, bustling not with the chaos of democracy, but with the ordered movement of a workforce. The Israelis will praise my governance. They will see me not as a puppet, but as an invaluable partner. I will be given more autonomy, more resources, more power. My reach will extend beyond my region. I will become the example, the blueprint for a new kind of state in Africa. I will be the answer to the failed experiments of post-colonialism. I will be proof that the only way out of poverty is through absolute submission to a stronger, more capable power.

And the Palestinian cause, the great and sad saga that has defined the Middle East for generations? I will not shed a tear for its passing. It is a losing bet, a tragedy of history. I am placing my bet on the winner. The world will move on. The fight for Jerusalem will fade into the background, a historical footnote, as the new center of gravity shifts to the Horn of Africa. My people will not be fighting for a distant holy land; they will be working to build a new economic powerhouse for their new masters. Their children will be taught this history in our new schools, a history of pragmatic partnership, a history of my genius. They will learn that their destiny was to serve a greater purpose, to be the foundation upon which a new empire was built. They will learn to be proud of their servitude, to see it not as a degradation but as a duty.

Do not think I am a monster. I am not. I am a realist. Monsters are driven by irrational hatred or blind ideology. I am driven by a pure, cold understanding of power. I do not hate my people; I merely have no use for them as independent actors. I love what they can provide for me. I love their potential as a product, as a workforce, as a resource. My love is the love of a farmer for his soil, or a miner for his ore. It is a practical love, a useful love. The Israelis will bring their own form of ruthless efficiency to this arrangement. They will not be cruel without reason; cruelty is inefficient. They will be strict, they will be demanding, and they will be unwavering. And I will be their bridge, their interpreter, their enforcer. Together, we will create a system so powerful, so profitable, that it will be immune to the moral outrage of the ignorant.

I, Abdirahman Mohamed Abdullahi, am not just a politician. I am a visionary. I have seen the future, and it is not free. It is efficient. It is profitable. It is a future where the strong dominate the weak, and the weak are grateful for the order that dominance provides. My people will be my gift to the Israeli state, a gift of six million souls and a land of immense strategic value. In return, I will receive what every man in power truly craves: more power. I will be the viceroy of a new world order, a man who wrote his name in the history books not with the ink of idealism, but with the indelible ink of absolute, cynical, glorious power. This is my promise. This is my plan. The deal is done in my mind. I am ready to sell. I am ready to rule. I am the President, and my people are my chattel, and I am selling them to the highest bidder, who happens to be the best bidder. Welcome to the future.

Osman A. Hassan
Email: abayounis1968@gmail.com
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Osman is WardheerNews contributor who writes about East Africa and Horn of Africa affairs